"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23). I'd heard these words before. I'd been advised "guard your heart". I'd even spent countless hours in the old Wellspring Christian Bookstore as a middle- and high-schooler. I really thought I could pour myself into my passions, set my heart on things I had no real control over, with no consequence whatsoever. If it didn't pan out, I could try again with something else: dive into a new relationship, a new passion. It was hard for me to believe there wouldn't always be "more where that came from" with regard to excitement, energy, and hope.
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13:12). When I face disappointment, it's always a lot harder to dust myself off and try again than I anticipate. I'm going to speak generally here. I've begun to see that I set my heart on things too quickly, before it's really safe. Perhaps it's never fully safe to hope: the world is full of risks, and close relationships are dangerous things. No one enjoys conflict (well, no sane person), but I think conflict is inevitable between people who care about each other. Sharing time, meshing interests and schedules, emotions that run high, vulnerability in opening up the heart. I see it played out as conflict arises in my family. I'm confident we'll work it out, but it's unpleasant in the middle. It's even been difficult for my bandmates and me to select this year's band name; each of us gets attached to one we like and consensus is hard to come by.
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). Sometimes I want things I shouldn't, that aren't best for me. Will I ever discover how to overcome that? Can I wait till the proper time to set my heart on something, or someone? I am slowly learning how.
"The Jews gathered around [Jesus], saying, 'How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.'" (John 10:24). For well over 2000 years, Jews have been keeping their eyes peeled for Messiah, placing their hearts and hope in God's promises. We had a wonderful Jewish tour guide in Israel who mentioned this as well; he's among them. Jesus answered the crowd: "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one" (John 10:27-29)
I do know that I can safely hang all my hope on Christ; He has never disappointed me and will not. Hope in Him won't leave my heart sick. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).
Our hearts are valuable. They are an amazing source of life, but they can be led astray. Mine needs a faithful shepherd.
Speaking of wellsprings, er, springs: I'll use the opportunity to recount another tidbit from my Israel trip. We went through a tunnel built in the days of King Hezekiah to bring water into the city of Jerusalem from the Gihon Spring. We spent about 45 minutes walking through ankle-deep water (mid-thigh-deep at one point) in the tight tunnel. Several spots required me to duck, and were less than two feet wide. It was a lot of fun, but not for the claustrophobic.
Hezekiah understood the importance of guarding the spring on which the city depended, and keeping it safe from Israel's enemies. "When Hezekiah saw that Sennacherib had come and that he intended to make war on Jerusalem, he consulted with his officials and military staff about blocking off the water from the springs outside the city, and they helped him. A large force of men assembled, and they blocked all the springs and the stream that flowed through the land. 'Why should the kings of Assyria come and find plenty of water?' they said." (2 Chronicles 32:2-4). May I guard my spring as well.
